I checked down the aisles, shoulder height pillars hiding places. There was a cave in the corner, I didn't look in there. I shot outside to the trolley we'd been using, which she'd already returned to once when she decided it was time to go. She wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere just outside or on the couches or in the aisles of the lolly stand out front, or left or right - she was gone. Taken, I realised as she was nowhere in sight. TAKEN. I asked a family seated eating ice cream. I went back to the lady in the shop. She said I could call security from inside but I wanted to stay where Tee could see me. I didn't think I should move from outside the shop where we'd last been together in case she popped up and I wasn't there. Anyway, which way should I run for her? Should I scream for her?
All the movies and stories of abducted children shot through my brain. I didn't want to panic, must stay calm, find her. I asked the shopkeeper to ring security and I rang my partner, mobile phone battery fading fast. Clipped, I splurted. "I'm at Sylvia Park. I've lost Tee. Where are you? Can you come?" I needed help, needed more people to help find her - stay at the shop while I run about.
I heard the shopkeeper say my name and knew Tee was there, with security, at the information desk. Safe. But, for 5, 7, 10 minutes - a small era - she'd been taken and a fear like a tidal wave had risen to swamp me and shock set in to keep it at bay. I ran at last to get my baby back, to find out what had happened. Anger pumped blood so fast I flew. Now I knew what it's like to feel like your feet don't even touch the ground.
She was sitting happy. Calm face on, smile in place, I asked. "Did someone take you?"
Smarmy. Little eyes squinting just slightly at me showing judgement, the information desk woman said. "She wasn't taken she was lost." I got Tee back and we walked away. We went over what happened and returned to the shop to thank the shopkeeper. By then we'd established that Tee had looked up from playing and didn't know where I was. She had taken herself out of the shop and a lady had taken her. A mature couple 'doing-the-right-thing' had taken my child. They didn't even look for me or ask about or wait. If they had just waited with her for a moment, reassured her that they could help her find her Mummy - Mummy would have found her.
I feel now for all those parents who have had their child taken, while their back is turned, while they look one way, while they go about knowing that under normal circumstances they wouldn't lose their child they love so much so they can feel their child's presence. In a moment, people can swing by and zap that connection zings and fades as they push in, and take the child further and further away.
My trauma was compounded when I returned to the information desk to ask about their policy, what they do when people bring children they think are lost. I needed to understand how this had happened? My suspicions were confirmed. The smarmy-judging woman could only vaguely report that Tee had been found 'wandering.' They had not had time to begin their questioning before our call came in. There was no understanding of the trauma caused to me. She called a security guard to listen to my complaints since to her I was just another deficient neglectful parent who had not taken good-enough care of my child.
If they have a policy for responding when children are handed in lost, then I think it should include:
- that people bringing children in are asked to pinpoint where they found the child, not just record that the child was 'wandering'
- that they are asked if they waited with the child for the parent and for how long?
I'd like to see the shopping mall management produce a leaflet suggesting the best course of action to follow if you find a child you think is lost:
- Stay with the child and reassure them you will help them find Mummy
- Wait with the child as their parent is probably looking for them. If they remove the child from the area, they could make if harder for the parent to find them.
- Ask the nearest shopkeeper to call security.
- Whilst, is is upsetting for a child who thinks they are lost, it is traumatic for a parent to find their child is gone. Don't act too hastily to whisk the child away. Look around for the parents first.
Hundreds of children are taken to the information desks in shops and malls every year. Some of them unnecessarily so - they are sped away literally while their parent's back is turned. In large malls, like Sylvia Park, it would be useful to have lost child/security meeting points at regular intervals along the strip, marked by indicator lights that could be flicked on. Then people, parents and security could meet at these point instead of having to go half a mile away extending the child and parents' separation/angst.
Tee is safe and I will get over the annoying after-effects of the shock. And sure, we will all be even more alert to each other's location when at public places again. As for Sylvia Park - it's now an unsafe place to go. An easy picking place for child-abductors.
